A brutally honest and hilarious memoir about addiction recovery, fame-adjacent life and learning how to start again.

When Paul Drayton briefly finds himself in prison in 2022 after a dangerous driving conviction, he is forced to confront the truth about the life he has been living. What follows is a candid and deeply personal journey through addiction, relationships, identity and recovery.

From growing up in Sunderland to navigating London’s nightlife scene, falling in love with Alan Carr to discovering what it feels like to live beside fame without sharing the spotlight, Paul reflects on the highs, the chaos and the mistakes that shaped his life.

A late ADHD diagnosis at fifty and determined to rebuild his future, he begins the difficult process of understanding himself and creating a new chapter.

Honest, self-aware and funny, this is a memoir about accountability, resilience and the courage to start again.