Some people are rude. Some people are loud. Some people treat every conversation like an audition for a personality they clearly did not rehearse.

Professional Insults is a sharp, glamorous, laugh-out-loud guide to the fine art of saying what everyone else is thinking — without losing your manners, your job, or your place at brunch.

With polished sarcasm, social survival tips, and enough sass to make bad behavior sit up straight, this book explores the difference between being cruel and being clever. From backhanded compliments and office-friendly verbal side-eyes to family gathering survival, romantic disappointment, social media foolishness, and the deadly power of silence, Stacy Hawthorn delivers a satirical handbook for anyone who has ever smiled politely while mentally drafting a masterpiece.

This is not a book about being mean.

It is a book about timing, restraint, confidence, and knowing when a raised eyebrow can do more damage than a paragraph.

Witty, stylish, and dangerously relatable, Professional Insults proves that anyone can be rude — but it takes talent to be memorable.